Sunday, December 15, 2013

What is mental abuse?

Last year I held lectures for "All women's house" that meets women that are subject to physical and mental abuse.

One thing that was clear was that many women that are abused physically didn't really know what that meant and in what way it affected them. It is pretty common that women call the Women's helpline and say "I don't know if I called the right place, but…". Because the defining is complicated. Is what you are experiencing normal and ok, or is it actually mental abuse?

That is why I thought I'd give a small description of the information of a model called The Circle of "Power and Control" (Domestic abuse intervention project, Minnesota).

The Model is described in the form of a circle, but I'll just type out some excerpts in text form:

In the middle there are the words "Power and Control" because that is the core to all forms of physical and mental abuse.

Emotional abuse:
When the partner represses, makes you feel guilty, uses foul language, makes you distrust your own senses, demeans, gives you a bad conscience.

Isolation:
Control's your actions, who you talk to, what you read, where you go, restricts your involvement in things outside the home, justifies their control by referencing to jealousy.

Diminish, deny, blame:
Doesn't take the abuse and your worry seriously, denies the abuse and puts responsibility on you, says that it is your fault.

Uses the kids:
Makes you feel guilty regarding the kids, uses them as messengers, threatens to take the kids away from you.

Uses male privileges:
Treats you as a servant, only the man gets to make big decisions, acts like the "master" of the house.

Economic abuses:
Stops you from keeping or getting a job, makes you ask for money, takes your money.

Coercion and threats:
Threatens or implement threats of hurting you, threatens to leave you, commit suicide, or report you to the Social service, makes you commit illegal actions.

Scare-tactics:
Makes you scared through looks, actions, gestures, breaks things, destroys your belongings, commits abuse against pets or shows off weapons.

If you feel like some of these things describe your situation, please seek help and support!

/Carina


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