For people that live close to a person with addiction problems it is usual that they make decisions in favor of the addict. You make decisions and choices to make the other person happy or to avoid anger. Sometimes doing this can be OK, and maybe it wasn't very important anyway. But if it happens often and perhaps with decisions that are very important for the relative, it will eventually lead to disappointment. It will lead to the relative making bad decisions that make them feel used, hurt and perceive themselves as victims to another person.
The relative contributes to this pattern in that that they put their own needs second in favor of the other person. You accept that other's needs always are more important than your own.
*What is the worst thing that could happen if the other person is upset?
*Is it worth it to let your own dreams wait because of that?
*But if we don't respect our needs and take our dreams seriously ourselves, who else will do it?
*Is it OK to at the age of 80 realize that you spent your whole life reducing your own dreams and aspirations to make someone else happy?
Hard questions... but nevertheless important to consider.
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