You can tiptoe to:
* not seem irritating.
* prevent the addict from drinking more.
* not say something wrong.
* not do something that does not suit the addict.
* not be blamed.
* not be in the way.
* not evoke anger
The relative might be too scared to confront the person; to say what they really think or feel. He/she might always have to think twice about everything they do or say in fear of their loved one becoming annoyed or angry. In the end, it might feel as they are in a prison, surrounded by invisible walls.
Do you feel this way? What would happen if you started to express your feelings and thoughts? What is the worst thing that could happen and what is the best thing that could happen?
How would it affect you to stand up for yourself? Psychologically? Self esteem? Courage to do what you want to? Courage to reveal your opinions and thoughts?
Don't hesitate to write down a comment to this post!
Maybe it an help others!
Lots of strength!
/Carina
2 comments :
Its like walking on eggshells. We know our alxoholics tell lies but so do we...we lie to them by not saying how we really feel for fear of upsetting him or hurting him and making him angry and drink more. We learn to omit truths just to keep the peace....we are co-dependent, always thinking of the other person or people in our lives and not remembering that we are important and have feelings and rights.
Hi Emma! Thank you for this post! I understand what you mean, it's easy to feel like we're lying to the person when we're afraid of telling him/her how we really feel. This is a way of avoiding an unpleasant situation, and it's a constant struggle to feel as we're walking on this "thin ice" and to "keep the peace", as you put it. Not being able to say what we really think and feel really makes a person feel trapped. Like you say, we are important too!!!! Thank you Emma, and take care! :) /Carina
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