Richard Engfors writes in his book Allt eller inget (transl.: all or nothing) how the alcohol helped him to fill the void inside of him. This makes me think about the many conversations I had with people who suffered from alcohol- and drug addiction while I worked inside the correctional care system.
Many people told me about the so called vacuity. The big, black hole filled with so much sorrow and futility. But, how the alcohol and the drugs helped them to not feel this void.
I would like to take this notion a step further, by saying that I can imagine how relatives to addicts often experience the same feeling of vacuity. When you are addicted to another person you will probably fill up that empty hole inside by focusing the other persons problems and difficulties, instead of your own. And hopefully, you may get love and affection in return. So, the fear of feeling that vacuity inside may be one reason why some people stay in destructive relationships.
The only way to get yourself out of that addiction is to face whatever may be in that black hole inside of you, and to get help to deal with whatever you may find. To accept that you sometimes may feel this blackness, and that it is okay. It is not dangerous and it will pass.
What do you think? Is this something you might recognize yourself in?
No comments :
Post a Comment