Please view the following questions if you feel that this way of "adapting" may reply to you. Feel free to write down your answers on a piece of paper.
- What are the short-term consequences of adapting? ex. "I make the other person happy". "There's no need for conflict"
- What are the long-term consequences of adapting? ex. "I feel used". "I don't consider my own health".
- What may the negative consequences of putting up boundaries be? ex. "It might start a conlict". "I might disappoint someone". "I would feel guilty".
- What may the positive consequences of putting up boundaries? ex. "I would respect my self more". "I would see to my own needs". "I would be able to rest when I wanted to".
- Can you think of a situation when you might adjust yourself even if you don't want to? ex. "When I'm exhausted and someone asks for help". "When i need to clean up someone else's mess".
- When these kinds of situations occur, what could you say in order to see to your own needs? ex. "I'm sorry, I can't do that today. I could get back to you at a more suitable time". "I'm sorry, I can't fix this for you. Have you thought of any possibly solutions yourself?"
- What would it mean to you if you were able to put up clear boundaries?
- What would be the first step in clarifying your boundaries? When facing yourself and facing others?
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