How can I help someone realize that they have a problem?

Do you feel as you are doing everything you can to help your loved one out of her/his abuse? That you're constantly talking to the person about it, but nothing happens?

You have probably tried all the different strategies there is... However, here are some suggestions on what might actually work. Try it, and see how it turns out. Stick to what works better. The rest is just unnecessary energy.


THIS WILL NOT WORK:

- Giving "lessons"
- Threatening ("if you do not ...")
- Yelling 
- Accusing ("You always do this," "It's your fault that ...")
- Setting ultimatum, and after that, giving the person a second chance, even though he/she broke the promise
- Trying to hold a conversation when the person is under the influence of alcohol/drugs

 

THIS IS WHAT YOU CAN DO INSTEAD:

Use positive communication and "I-statements". For example: "I/we care about you" or "I/we want you to get help, for your own sake." Instead of "you are always wasted/high on Christmas Eve," you can say, "I would be so happy if we were celebrating a white Christmas this year".

There is a risk that people suffering from addiction will deny/avoid their problems. If they admit that they've got a problem, it means that they have to take care of it.  

Set limits!  
These limits shall, among with other things, be about what you accept when it comes to your home (either your own home or the home you share together with the person), your finances and your relationships with other people. Hold on to these limits! Leave the person alone and make something better of your time in case if he/she is under the influence.

And, if you've tried everything and you still feel that nothing is happening, or that things are getting worse, seek professional help!

TAKE CARE! 
/Carina