Do you see a pattern?

The behaviors that we develop in our lives often shows in several different relationships. If you find yourself in a relationship which may be destructive, and if you don't like your own behavior in this relationship, think back; is this behavior recognizable to you?   

Can you notice some kind of non-beneficial pattern that comes back to you time after time? Think back to the relationships you had with your family, friends, colleagues etc. A behavior, developed by being a relative, is not bound to the relationship you have with the person with the addiction, but does usually integrate into other relationships in your life as well.

Ex.
1) If I, in my relationship with the addicted, have a hard time saying no and putting up my own borders, it may also show in my relationships with friends or at my work place.

2) If I want to have control over other people to make everything as good as possible (according to my own values), then I may have a tendency to control things beyond my own area of responsibility.

3) If I have hard time telling the addicted what I feel and think, then I may have a hard time telling other people what I feel and think as well. 

Is this a pattern that you might recognize? Or a similar pattern? In that case, how do these patterns play out in the relationships in your life?

You are more than welcome to share your own experiences!