6 Communication Skills For Parents

One of the number one concerns of parents is whether their children will use, or are using, drugs. What if there were something you could do to help prevent drug abuse?

There are good news; research shows that parents play an important role in preventing their children from using drugs. There are different parenting skills that you can use to prevent both initiation and progression of drug use. 

SO WHAT ARE THESE SKILLS? 

1. Communication

Communication skills help parents stay on top of what is happening in their children’s lives as well as detect problems early on. You want to stay away from blaming, accusing or angry outbursts. It’s a good idea to make a plan to deal with the situation within 24 hours, rather than attempt to have a conversation while you’re angry.

2. Encouragement

This is truly integral in order to build confidence, reduce conflict and promote cooperation. Comparing children to their siblings, taking over when progress is too slow or reminding children of their past failures should in all cases be avoided.

3. Negotiation

Negotiation encourages problem solving and cooperation. It allows children to learn about focusing on finding solutions, thinking through possible consequences of their behavior and creating communication skills.

4. Setting Limits

Limits are important because they provide guidelines and teach children how important it is to follow rules. Limits teach children about self-control, responsibility and safe boundaries.

5. Supervision

Supervision is integral for effective parenting because it helps parents with spotting problems and staying involved. It promotes safety, however, it’s not always feasible to have your children within your sight. When your kids are away from the home, look at their schedule, call them, have them check in, surprise them with random calls or visits and stay in contact with other adults who interact with them.

6. Knowing Your Child’s Friends

The uncertainty of the children´s self-image, how they “fit in” and the need to please and impress their friends can leave them vulnerable to peer pressure. It’s important to stay in communication with their friends and parents, observe who they hang out with, discuss sex and drugs (so they’re not getting the info from unreliable sources) and talk to them when a concern comes up. 

It’s important to be someone that your child can come to with their triumphs, problems and concerns. Be their sounding board, cheerleader and number one defender and advocate. There are going to be stumbles and falls along the way, but remember that we’re striving for them to have happy, healthy, and productive lives and that all experience—good and bad—teaches us important life lessons.

Do you want to read more? 

See this link: https://www.drugabuse.gov/sites/default/files/familycheckup_8_15.pdf

Walk into the Open Door

When one door closes, another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

– Alexander Graham Bell –

Sometimes it is time to give up on something that may not be working for you. It's important to assess the time and effort you have sacrificed and compare them to the results you have gotten. Life is short, and you don't have time and just wait. It can be hard to break away from things that are not working out.

Perhaps you made a bad decision some years ago. At the time, you may not have seen it that way, but as time moved on, it became evident that your decision was not a very wise one. It is okay to make an honest assessment of your life. Sometimes it is important that you break the ties that bind you to bad past decisions and start a new.

These decisions could have involved business, people, friends, habits, and the list continues. Rather than to continue to struggle and fight for something that will never win, loosen your grip and let it go. So many people have a hard time letting go because they either do not want to accept failure, or it could be a situation where old habits die hard. Accept the fact that it is time to close the door.

You see, when one door closes, another one opens. We don't want to waste time looking and longing for a door that will inevitably close anyway. As we close the door of the past, there will be glorious open doors awaiting you. But you can't walk through a closed and open door at one time. So, walk forward and be free.

Just because you made a bad decision does not mean you must continue to live by it. Always remember, if your fist is closed holding on to what you have, you cannot open it up to accept new opportunities and blessing!

Be your own best friend!

Are you always giving to others but when you are in need, no one is to be found? Do you often find yourself stuck in a situation and are doing things that you do not really want to do? Sometimes you may neglect yourself constantly in favor of others needs. Do you feel like your life is no longer even on the priority list?

It's time to take inventory.  There is nothing wrong with taking out much needed time for you. Shut off your cell phone for a while, and take a mini vacation. Make yourself unavailable and stick to it. Take out "me" time and schedule it regularly. The earth will not stop spinning while you are away.

Line up some interesting or fun activities and go on a short distance road trip. Meet new friends. Treat yourself to a spa treatment inclusive of a massage. Go out and eat your favorite extravagant meal and treat yourself to that big ice cream cone that you never seem to have time for. Buy a new outfit and get a new hair cut. Attend that concert that is coming to town or take a short cruise. Sometimes, all it takes is to shake up the schedule a little to change the course and direction of your life.

Who are you guaranteed to live with every second, minute, day, week, month and year for the rest of your life? Yourself, of course!

Treat yourself like your own best friend!

Ground breaking meditation app!

Is your life filled with stress, anxiety or worries? Or do you just need to relax from time to time?  

I can HIGHLY recommend a meditation app called Headspace! It includes hundreds of hours of simple meditation lessons, such as mindfulness, and has definitely made my daily life easier in many ways. 

Meditation has proven to relieve stress and improve sleep, focus and self awareness. Try it our for 10 minutes and see how it feels :) 

You can download the app in your app store, just search for Headspace, or check it out here.

Stay calm and take care! 

Addiction, shame and stigma

Over 20 million people are struggling with drug- or alcohol problems, but only about 2 million of them receive treatment. Why? 

One of the reasons has to do with our view of the person with an addiction. Many people put labels on the person; he/she has a bad character and ought to straighten up. This label is also transmitted onto the families; “what kind of family let this happen?” Relatives are often questioned by outsiders, like friends, colleagues or neighbors. These “third parties” may also have a variety of advices for the families, for example: "Make sure he obtains a hobby in order to be detached from the alcohol/drugs!" Yes, if only it were that easy to make someone recover from an illness. The stigma of addiction prevents so many people from seeking help, just because of the fear of being labeled by others!

Addiction is defined by the American Society of Addiction Medicine as a "primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory, and related circuitry." Addiction changes the structure of the brain and its ability to function. Despite this, many people still look at alcohol and drug addiction as a moral dilemma.

Karen is 62 years old and the mother of the now sober 39-year-old Marcus. He's been clean for many years, but it's not until now that she've begun to talk about what she experienced during the time of his addiction. She was always afraid of what others would think of her. It made her quiet and she suffered a lot more than she had to. For there is help to be given out there.

Denial, blame, anger and bitterness are all common attributes in families that are affected by the disease of addiction. It is often uncomfortable for families to talk to their friends and/or relatives about the problem, and they are often afraid to seek support. But talking about it is very important when it comes to their own well-being, provided that they get the opportunity to talk to non-judgmental people. If a person is judged during the conversation, there's a risk that he/she feels even more shame and therefore gets even more isolated.

Karen felt, like so many others, a strong shame in talking about her sons addiction with others, especially with all the rumors going on about him. She thought that they would judge her as being a bad mother, and it happened many times that she defended him in front of others or denied that he had a problem. This further strengthens her isolation and the feeling that no one understood; she was alone to live in a situation like this.

People form opinions based on the information that they have on hand. If we don't educate people about the nature of addiction, what causes it and research in order to find better treatments, nothing is ever going to change. No one will benefit on clinging on to old stigmas and rigid beliefs. If these beliefs are maintained, it'll take longer time for people suffering from addiction to seek help, or they may not even get to that point, and in the worst cases, they will die due to the disease. And many close relatives, like Karen, will always be afraid to seek support for their own sake, although there's millions of people around them who are suffering, just like them.

Do you have any questions or thoughts on the subject? Or anything else you want to talk about? Please write a comment below, or contact me at: info@carinabang.se

TAKE CARE!

/Carina

Source:

www.drugfree.org:

http://www.drugfree.org/new-data-show-millions-of-americans-with-alcohol-and-drug-addiction-could-benefit-from-health-care-r/

www.asam.org