Convenience

I like to do things as conveniently as possible. And I don't think I am the only one. If someone else does it better or faster I'll let the other person do the job. Like my partner, he is very good at sawing, drilling and solving technical problems. This results in me barely being able to use the remote control (there are actually three of them, which I find are too many to keep track on.)

As long as the relative protects and takes care of the addict they are never going to need to develop the skills that are needed to handle the everyday life. If someone else is faster/better/more knowledgeable about how to , say, pay the rent, take care of social contacts, fill in papers, clean the house, take care of the post, book meetings, wash the clothes, take the children to school, why then should I do it? Then it's convenient to let the other one do those things, on the other hand I'll never learn to be faster/better/more skilled at doing those tasks.

In that way the addicts are protected and that also make them never have to develop the skills that are needed to grow as grown up individuals. They don't have to tackle the consequences of their actions, because the relatives probably already cleaned up...

It is not that the addict is incompetent. If we look a narcotics as an example, it takes an incredible drive and set of skills to find money to pay for the drugs. It requires many competences.

* If you find yourself in this kind of relationship right now, what are you doing that stops the other persons development?

/Carina