Are you a victim?

Being a relative to a person with an addiction can make us fall into the trap of being the victim. We consider ourselves being subject to betrayal and ingratitude from the person we have helped so much and tried to save. When that person continues their addiction we take that as them being ungrateful towards all the things we did for them. Maybe we even overstepped our boundaries and values in order to help this person. That is when we start to see ourselves as victims of the addict.

What we also did in this process was to take away the responsibility from the addict.

We turned them into children that don't need to take care of the consequences of their actions or make decisions regarding change. In that way the addict has no opportunity to grow, develop and see the negative consequences of the addiction, because that was taken care of by us relatives.

As a child you are a victim of your parents addiction. You are dependent on your parents to survive and they are your guardians. As an adult, you have the possibility to change. You can choose. We can choose our relationships, we can choose if we want to help or not. It is our choice, our decision.

If you think you might be doing what is described in the text, if you have helped, saved and never gotten a thank you for doing it and if you feel like you have taken on the role as a victim. Do you want to change? You have made choices so far, that you might be more happy with or not. And now you have the opportunity to make new choices for your future!