Food for thought

Last day to download the free self-help manual!

Oooops! Today is the last day to download my book Self-Help For Relatives of Substance Abusers for free here!

All you have to do is download the Kindle app. After that you can order the book through Amazon.com. And don't forget to write a review if you find the book useful, it would help a lot! :)

"White" Christmas

Self-Help Manual For Relatives of Substance Abusers FOR FREE!

Give yourself a christmas present! Download my book Self-Help For Relatives of Substance Abusers for free here!

The offer is only available for 5 days! All you have to do is download the app. After that you can order the book thorugh Amazon.com. And don't forget to write a review if you find the book useful, it would help a lot :)

Enjoy and take care! 

Practical Tips to Help a Substance Abuse

If your family member is a substance abuser, it can make your life a living hell. If you are a parent, you lose your confidence, your hope in the future. You may believe that your kid’s drug habit is your fault. You feel guilty and ashamed. Above all, you feel powerless. You think that you failed your kid. You want to do something, but you do not know how.

If you are a partner or a child of a substance abuser, you never feel safe. You are maybe afraid that your family member may physically abuse you. Sometimes they might abuse you. When they are drunk, they are not themselves. As if they were not the loving, good person whom they once used to be. You barely can recall happier times when your parent or partner was sober and kind. Sometimes you just want to get rid of them. You want them to leave the family and move far away, you do not want to meet them ever again. When you have these thoughts, you feel terrible, because you gave up on your family member.

When you warn your family member that their substance abuse is not okay and they need treatment, they shrug it off. They say they do not need help, they just need another drink or some more “stuff”. When they are drunk or “high”, they are happy. They have an illusion of safety, confidence and having a good time. Their problems go away, or if they do not, they do not matter anymore. Substance abusers do not want to return to a harsh reality where they have to face challenges, depression, failures, consequences of their mistakes, and, of course, angry and estranged family members.

However, there are moments when they do know that they are addicts and they need help. When they open up about it, they may surprise you how clearly they can see their problem. They tell you that they know they should seek help, but they are afraid of going to a “rehab”. A “rehab” is something that many people with addiction dreads. Their addiction is how they escape stress, so, of course, they are afraid of mental and physical suffering. So, in a beat, they may snap back into their drug cravings. They do not change anything at all. You feel disappointed, furious and sad. After a while, you will never believe their promises that someday they will change. You think they are no-hopers. But remember that there is hope of recovery for everyone.

Tips to Help their Recovery

·      Educate yourself. Gather information. Learn about alcohol, different drugs, and their effects on substance abusers.

·      Do not blame yourself. It is natural that you cannot handle this rough and sensitive situation. It is a tough situation, even for professionals who hold a degree in dealing with substance abusers.

·      Tell your affected family member that you hope they will seek help. Tell them that you love them but you do not love what the drug does to them.

·      Do not blame your loved ones for their substance abuse. Do not nag at them, do not point out how they failed in life and how they make everyone’s life miserable. This is what every family member considers impossible. You cannot help blaming a substance abuser when they have outbursts, when they are a threat to your well-being. You do not have to tolerate their drug habits. Tell them that you still remember the good times, you remember who they are when they do not drink or use drugs. Let them know that you still love them. Encouraging, meaningful words help much more than calling your loved one a drunken pig.

·      “Helping them” does not mean that you should give them money to support their drug habits. Set boundaries and stick to them. You are not the one who should take care of the consequences. The person who created the problem should deal with the consequences. It makes them realize that their substance abuse is a big problem. Urge them to seek help.

Do you think this blog will help someone else? Please, share it!

Come back for a free Christmas gift the 21/12!

To be a parent...

Having to experience the anxiety and fear of your child becoming a substance abuser is naturally horrible. And so is the powerlessness over the youth as they may make decisions that lead to terrible consequences. It's a feeling of not knowing what to do because even the young ones are good at outsmarting and protecting the drugs if they want to.

Here are some pieces of advice that might help:

1) First of all, try to learn as much as possible about different drugs and how they affect someones behavior.

2) Talk to your child, let them know that you know. Express your worry, care and love for the child.

3) Try to remain calm and avoid blaming. Try to find out what the child is feeling and experiencing, and how they see the situation.

4) Make it clear that you love her/him, but not the drug and what the drug does to your child.

5) Explain the consequences of alcohol/drug addiction.

6) Tell them that you are there to help and support them. Try to find out what the young one is thinking in terms of quitting and what he/she needs to help with that.

7) Set limits on what is OK and what isn't and make the consequences of crossig those limits clear.

I´m back!

Hello dear blog readers!

After some time of silence and lots of hard work I´m back! At least for a time. ;-) 

Since I wrote last time , I have been on courses, speaking at conferences about relatives and family members to substance abusers, met amazing people and learned interesting things that I hope to spread to you! 


Hope you are well and that life has been good to you!
/Carina