New study about child exposure

This post is about a new study coming from my own country: Sweden. However, it may also be adaptable to all countries in the west, since our cultures in many ways are similar to one another, but more importantly, since all children living in families where abuse occurs are negatively affected.

As said, the study tells us how the outcome may look like for children living with parents suffering from drug- or alcohol addiction or mental illness. These children are forced to act like "parents", both to their siblings but also to their mother and/or father.

The result is pretty terrifying: Approximately 7 percent of the children in Sweden live under these circumstances. There is a huge risk that these children develop an addiction of their own when they've reached adolescence or adulthood. It is also more likely that they may suffer from mental illness later in their life, comparing to children growing up in non-destructive families.

No child should grow up with the burden of acting as a parent/guardian/caretaker to members of their own family. Children are suppose to be children, and in some cases, they need help in order to "accomplish" this (though it may sound strange and harsh to say). 

Needles to say, our society (social services, schools, day cares, welfare administrations and other friends and family members) have a great responsibility in helping children living under these circumstances. No child should be alone!

The study was published by Socialstyrelsen (Swedish National Board of Health and Welfare)

Christmas & New Years Eve Help

A lot of people are looking forward to Christmas and New years eve. However, for many relatives to people with drug- or alcohol problems, these holidays may be very rough. Instead of peace, calmness and rest, the family may go through disappointment, anxiety or quarrels. 

Are you afraid that the upcoming holiday will be destroyed because of excessive drinking? Think about the following questions and suggestions to see if your answers might help you a little bit on the way. 

Questions and examples: 

• Are you able to celebrate Christmas somewhere else? If possible, be ready with a back-up plan if something were to go wrong.  

• What can you do if you can't handle the situation, but don't have anywhere else to go? Take a walk? Be with a pet whom gives you happiness? Talk to someone? Something else? 

• Think about who you can call if something were to go wrong/if you're sad. 

• Talk to the person with the addiction in advance. Tell him/her what you want the upcoming Christmas/New years eve to look like, what you're expecting. A suggestion might be to tell him/her what you/you and the rest of your family will do if things would go out of hand with the alcohol/drugs. (Important!: Don't give any ultimatum if you can't maintain them when the situation comes up!)

• If the person becomes aggressive, leave him/her be! Avoid any type of argumentation. Leave the house as soon as possible by yourself/with the rest of your family and call someone you trust, or the police, depending on the situation.

•  If possible, leave the person for a while and do something else by yourself/with the rest of your family. Something that brings you harmony and joy.  

If you have any experiences of these types of problems or if you have any advise that might help other relatives to people with alcohol- or drug addiction, please write a comment! This may help people in similar situations! 

Remember: it is not your fault!

Take care!

Scientific research about children of alcoholics

This afternoon I'm studying for an exam in psychology. I'm reading about some discouraging but important research results about a correlation between alcoholism among parents and children having an increased tendency towards developing behavioural problems like anti-social behaviour. 

There also seems to be a connection between anti-social behaviour among children and parents suffering from depression.

Then I start to think that for a child to, for example, an alcoholic father, there is a risk that the mother also develops depression because of the alcohol problems in the family. And that mix leads to an increased risk for emotional and behavioural problems for the child.

Once again do we see how the whole family is affected by the fact that one person has an addiction problem. And therefore, the whole family needs help!

What is your opinion on this? Share your thoughts in the comments!

/Carina

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