New study about child exposure

This post is about a new study coming from my own country: Sweden. However, it may also be adaptable to all countries in the west, since our cultures in many ways are similar to one another, but more importantly, since all children living in families where abuse occurs are negatively affected.

As said, the study tells us how the outcome may look like for children living with parents suffering from drug- or alcohol addiction or mental illness. These children are forced to act like "parents", both to their siblings but also to their mother and/or father.

The result is pretty terrifying: Approximately 7 percent of the children in Sweden live under these circumstances. There is a huge risk that these children develop an addiction of their own when they've reached adolescence or adulthood. It is also more likely that they may suffer from mental illness later in their life, comparing to children growing up in non-destructive families.

No child should grow up with the burden of acting as a parent/guardian/caretaker to members of their own family. Children are suppose to be children, and in some cases, they need help in order to "accomplish" this (though it may sound strange and harsh to say). 

Needles to say, our society (social services, schools, day cares, welfare administrations and other friends and family members) have a great responsibility in helping children living under these circumstances. No child should be alone!

The study was published by Socialstyrelsen (Swedish National Board of Health and Welfare)

Theme of the month - Violence: Addiction, Violence & Children

In this post I will talk about violence against children, and children who witness violence in their home. Violence doesn't have to be physical. It can be anything from be high voices and yelling to slamming doors and throwing things around. Many children who experience violence in their home describe how they haven't seen it, but heard it, and this will also create fear and trauma.

"My dad was the boss in the house. He didn't let me do anything. When my dad was home during the weekends he drank. Then he became drunk. The next day he was hangover, and then he was angry about everything. He was pretty mean".

(Interview with a young child taken from the book Barn som upplever våld. Pappas våld mot mamma - barns förståelse och komplexa offerskap. Gothia Förlag 2007 (transl. "Children who experience violence. The father's violence against the mother - children's understanding and complex victimhood.").

"The best thing for a child is to live at home" - Is this really true? 

Science have shown that it all depends on the situation. If there's violence in the home, the child may experience relief by not being a part of it. When interviewing children scientist have found out that the most important aspect of the life of a child is to feel safe.

Children who live with violence in their home may become traumatized. A trauma is an incident that is so frightening that it creates physiological and mental harm. The child hasn't chosen to live in their home, but they still have to be responsible for it and adapt to it. Many children whom seen violence in their home also show signs of emotional problems such as anxiety, depression and aggressiveness. they may also develop antisocial behaviors, in comparison to other children.


If you live in a violent family, seek help! You doesn't have to be alone!

Om du lever i en familj där det förekommer våld, så sök hjälp! Du behöver inte stå ensam i detta!

Take care!

/Carina

Do the kids understand more than we think?

As parents we naturally want our kids to be happy, feel good and secure. It is therefore hard to make yourself realise that the kids also are affected by the grown-up's alchohol and drug abuse.

In many cases the adults do their drinking or intake of the drug in a way that is the least harmful for the kids possible, and often you can hear relatives make statements such as:

"No, the kids don't notice anything, he/she drinks only when they have gone to sleep"

"The kids don't know about this, he/she becomes extra nice to them when he/she drinks"

"You don't notice when he/she is drunk, it is only I who see it"

And so on...

It is a common misconception that children do not understand just because they are not present during the actual intake and perhaps not during the intoxication either. Children not only affected by the alcohol, children are affected by the relationship between the adults.

If there frequently is a bad atmosphere, conflicts, blame, isolating silences and so on, the children are affected by it, regardless if they see the intake of the drug or not. They might not understand exactly what the problem is, but they can see that someting is wrong. And if nobody talks to the child about this, the risk is that the child takes the blame for the family problems.

Another common reaction from the children is that they are angry with the other parent (not the user) because they feel that it is them who fights, are angry, nag and creates conflicts, because they don't understand the real problem.

In conclusion: Kids are affected and sense/understand more than we think they do.

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