Quotes about Self-Help Manual For Relatives of Substance Abusers

I'm glad to see that the self-help manual may be useful and helpful to so many!

Below are some statements from readers who worked with Self-Help Manual For Relatives of Substance Abusers

"I have gotten a better understanding of myself and my relatives. That I'm not alone with having these feelings and that it is normal to feel the way I do."

"I have made a huge progress. My distress over my mothers substance abuse is all in all gone."

"It has helped me to dare to let go of control and made me treat my relative like an adult that has to take responsibility for their own actions."

"Great content, it concerns the things you feel it needs to."

"I've gotten a completely new attitude to the whole problem with the drug."

"I can't influence the choice to do the drug, only the addict can decide that."

"I let go of control to make myself happier."

"I feel better than I have in many years, I feel calm and in harmony, happy and satisfied."

"I'm not sinking as low as I used to do when my son is using."

"I'm not dwelling on things that have been as much anymore, the things I did wrong, what I could have done differently and so on."

"I'll start prioritize myself as well as trusting myself. I'm not alone and speaking up about my feelings will make me feel better."

"I learnt to realize that it isn't my fault that my relative is an addict."

"The choices the addict makes are his own, I can't affect them or take responsibility for them."

"I feel much stronger, happier and focus much more on myself."

"All the different mindsets have helped me incredibly much also in situations outside of my parents addiction. Good material that you can go back to and read again."

Would you also like reading self-help manual? 

Click on the link on the right, or on this link: 

http://www.amazon.com/Self-Help-Relatives-Substance-Abusers-ebook/dp/B00AC7RQEE/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1353828131&sr=8-2&keywords=Carina+Bang

Please send me a message and and tell med how it was helpful to you!

Excerpt form the Self-Help Manual 3

Excerpt from the Self-Help Manual for Relatives of Substance Abusers:

In order to bring new things into our lives we need to take away things that we do not want any more or that might not be useful to us. We cannot just keep adding things all the time because that will probably lead to stress-related illness. It is important to empty our backpack and sort things out sometimes. To make it even clearer what you could say “yes” to in order to say “no” to other things, fill out the chart below. Put down what you can say “yes” to if you choose to say “no” to something else.

If I say no to:	Then I can say yes to:
E.g. Paying for someone else. Controlling others.	E.g. Buying something for myself. Caring for others in a healthy way.

Try this exercise for yourself! It may be helpful to set boundaries and clarify what you want to be open for. 

All the best!

/Carina

P.s. If you want purchase the E-book "Self-Help Manual For Relatives", please click on the picture on the left hand side.

"Tough love"

Tough love. Have you heard the expression before? I have heard it so many times that you should use "tough love" towards the person with substance abuse. But what exactly is "tough love" Can love be tough? Or is it about functional and respectful attitude, towards yourself and others? How do you interpret "tough love"? Please write in the comments and tell us your views and experiences of this!

I interpret tough love to mean:

* To clearly communicate your values​​, what you think is okay or not.

* To stand up for your own values ​​and not compromise or violate what you believe in.
* Be clear and respectful in your communication and not ramble.

* To not accept what does not feel good for yourself.

* Do not take the negative consequences of drug use for the person with alcohol and drug problems.
* Let him or her handle and take responsibility for the negative consequences that the alcohol or drugs created for them.

* To not allow yourself to believe in lies, instead believe in what you see.

* To support the person with the dependency problem when he/she makes a change to become clean and sober. (For example, when he/she goes into treatment, attend AA meetings, etc.)

What does "tough love" mean to you?

/Carina

Do you like this blog? Become a member or spread it to others who might need it!  

Excerpt from the Self-Help Manual

Excerpt from the Self-Help Manual for Relatives of Substance Abusers: 

"In a destructive relationship, other people often wonder why the couple stay together, why they do not split up. Why the person stays, even when it is clear that the relationship is destructive and that the person is being badly treated and would be better off by her/himself. But the people who live in this sort of relationship often find something positive in it that no one else can see or understand. It can be, for example, that they feel safe. People often stay in a relationship because they feel safe: they know what they have but not what they might get. It is easy for us to be scared of change and new situations. Even when you are in a destructive relationship, you can still feel safe in it.  

Another reason for staying is the fear of being alone – it seems preferable to stay in the relationship you have. There are many different reasons why people choose to stay or elect not to change the situation. Also, the feeling of being needed by someone can be important. This makes us feel valued, important and appreciated by somebody. That feeling can be a reason why we do not look for change. The feeling of being needed by somebody raises our self-esteem temporarily. We seldom ask ourselves: ”Do I need this person?” “Do I need this situation?” “Do I need to be treated in this way?”  

Take a look at your own life and situation. Write down the benefits of your current situation as well as the negative parts and consequences. Analyse all the perspectives; your emotions, your physical and material situation, economy and relations. 

Positive sides of the current situation:	Negative sides of the current situation
E.g. I like to feel needed Safety	E.g. It takes up all my energy Worries

Test the exercise on your situation! Please write in the comments your thoughts and reflections

 

All the best!

/Carina