Have you read the self-help manual?

Have you read "Self-help manual for relatives to substance abusers"?
It would be fantastic to hear your thoughts about it! Please give a review at Amazon!  It'll help other relatives too! 

Click here to leave a Review! 

Here is some reviews about the Self-help manual:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must for anyone who has a substance abuser in their lives
I found Carina Bang’s book by chance and I am glad that I did. It was a game-changer for me. As if it opened a door within me, it was an AHA moment. It contains simple and powerful exercises, you must answer questions like what you want to change in your life. I knew what I wanted to change. I wanted to feel safe and secure. I wanted to live without fear, without threats from my alcoholic father. I could not make my mother divorce him, but I could change *my* approach.
 
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars
Great book. Easy and quick to read. Exercises are helpful. I certainly recommend it.

5.0 out of 5 starsFive stars for this manual! 
I can really and truly recommend this manual, I think it'll be helpful for every person being a relative/friend/spouse to someone suffering from alcohol- or drug abuse. Both when it comes to helping the person, but also helping oneself... I think that was the most rewarding part by reading it!  

5.0 out of 5 starsVery thoughtful guide.   
This manual presents information in a way that really makes one think and consider how one approaches life. Very helpful in dealing with someone who has a problem with substances and how to cope and actually grow in ways that I would not have imagined possible with the use of a book. Thanks!
  
5.0 out of 5 starsBrilliant, highly recommend this book!
Highly recommend this book if you live with anyone who suffers from substance abuse but also perhaps if you live with people with mental illness or disabilities. Many books address the needs of the patient, very few books address the need of the carers. This book does so brilliantly. Carina says .. liberate self from what we cannot control .. give self the freedom to live, grow and enjoy life .. care about and love people ... but not at our own expense.
It is a workbook and little by little, step by step it will help you to regain and enjoy your life, even as a relative of a substance abuser

Need a medicin for shame? Talk to someone you trust!

As a relative it's common to feel shame and guilt. Is it my fault that the alcoholic drinks? What could I've done differently? It's my failure that the person uses drugs. What would others think of me if they knew how things really are? What would other people say about me if they knew how I really have it at home?

Often we try to keep the problem as secret as possible.We think we're alone in this situation. That no one else would understand. That strengthens the shame. Dare to talk to someone! Choose a good friend, relative, therapist, go to open meetings at for example Alanon. There you will meet others with similar experiences. By talking to others the feeling of shame is reduced.You will probably also realize that many more people than you would have ever believed have experiences of the exact same problems as you.

Take courage and talk! You will probably meet more understanding than you would ever have guessed!

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Monday 3/25 2013

Thank God it´s Monday!

Or how do you feel about this day and this new week?

Some meet a new work day with a heavy mind and already long for the comming weekend. While it for many relatives can be a relief that it is Monday and time to leave home and go to work. Finally the weekend wrapped up. Maybe it went well, things were quiet and you could relax. Or maybe it was a weekend filled with alcohol and fights.

Anyway, regardless of how this weekend has proceeded, what can you do this Monday and this week so that you can get to feel as good as possible? What is your commitment to yourself?

Please do write in the comments and tell us! It can encourage others too!

Great strength!

/Carina

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Excerpt from the Self-Help Manual

Excerpt from the Self-Help Manual for Relatives of Substance Abusers: 

"In a destructive relationship, other people often wonder why the couple stay together, why they do not split up. Why the person stays, even when it is clear that the relationship is destructive and that the person is being badly treated and would be better off by her/himself. But the people who live in this sort of relationship often find something positive in it that no one else can see or understand. It can be, for example, that they feel safe. People often stay in a relationship because they feel safe: they know what they have but not what they might get. It is easy for us to be scared of change and new situations. Even when you are in a destructive relationship, you can still feel safe in it.  

Another reason for staying is the fear of being alone – it seems preferable to stay in the relationship you have. There are many different reasons why people choose to stay or elect not to change the situation. Also, the feeling of being needed by someone can be important. This makes us feel valued, important and appreciated by somebody. That feeling can be a reason why we do not look for change. The feeling of being needed by somebody raises our self-esteem temporarily. We seldom ask ourselves: ”Do I need this person?” “Do I need this situation?” “Do I need to be treated in this way?”  

Take a look at your own life and situation. Write down the benefits of your current situation as well as the negative parts and consequences. Analyse all the perspectives; your emotions, your physical and material situation, economy and relations. 

Positive sides of the current situation:	Negative sides of the current situation
E.g. I like to feel needed Safety	E.g. It takes up all my energy Worries

Test the exercise on your situation! Please write in the comments your thoughts and reflections

 

All the best!

/Carina